Staff

Founders

Arget Hackslayer
Age: Wouldn't we all like to know.
Job: Slave-driver
Location: Unknown due to the sheer amount of stalkers she has.

The infamous Arget Hackslayer is the driving force behind Anti-Shurtugal. Her sheer tyranny makes it possible for us to even remotely get anything done. She is known to be so evil she can make pure water melt. Rumour has it she's a middle aged cat woman who likes to knit and go to the shooting range once in a while. An avid rodent-hater, Chenoweth-lover, and Maguire-worshipper, Hackslayer is a great inspiration for all of us, as long as we keep a good five meters away from her all the time.

Diamondo
Age: They say you're only as old as you feel.

She is said to live in the sewers, though how she gets internet access, no one knows, although rumor has it that she sacrifices virgins to the gods of internet. Diamondo loves pirates, Dr. Pepper, Phantom of the Opera, pirates, and cockroaches. Her leprosy mysteriously vanished one day. Something to do with leprechaun poop.

Fragon Jierda-theirra-kalfis/Calfbreaker
Age: Old enough to be your grandma. If you were a dog.
Location: Canada

Hackslayer's loyal henchman. Unproven rumours state that she is actually a 60-year-old man who likes to stalk unsuspecting little kiddies (preferably Eragon fanboys). She spends an hour a month on this website, and all updates (or lack thereof) can be blamed on her. When she's not wasting her life, she's away training her dogs to bite people or writing books that make eyes bleed.

Eirene Dragonsbane
Age: “Fair of face beyond the measure of men” (FotR)
Location: Shadows

While I prefer to remain a mystery, I will spare you the grueling details of my insignificant life (especially for all of you who want me six below already). For those less hostile, I enjoy sports, reading, writing, and horses. I’ll probably be the least involved of all the staff members simply because I have a life (heh). I am, of course, kidding. The reason falls to my desperate case of computer illiteracy. Oh, and also, the name Eirene is stolen from a goddess of peace. Dragonsbane, well, if you don’t get it by now…

Pirate Keke
Age: Just count her tentacles
Location: The murky depths of a swamp

Keke is one of the chief instigators of this website. She is allegedly Arget's tentacled lover, although she's been known to have affairs/flings/lovechildren with a good number of the staff. An avid anime-fan, to our great relief. She disappears for long months at a time but is always remembered for her great personality and flirtations.

The Rest of the Gang

Darkstakey

Stakey is the youngest of the staff, but more mature than most people his age that we've met. He is supposed to be managing the forums but is more often found helping us with ideas and editing articles. He likes to promote a special kind of boy juice, and like Keke, has lovechildren with several of the staff members. Has flirted with everyone from ages 3-60. Stakey likes to watch movies with dead people in it, from horror flicks to classics from the early 1900s. He has a thing for plushies, but if you value your sanity, you will NOT ask him about it. He can regrow limbs (and various other body parts) at will.

Lindpen

Lindpen was the founder of the LiveJournal Community, and it is through that that we managed to get to know her better. Currently she moderates the forums and gives her input in various new ideas Arget and Fragon come up with. She likes books and Dachshunds, and beneath her loving, benevolent exterior lies a giggling madman waiting to get out. She and Fragon have been known to go on unmentionable escapades involving saints and mailmen.

Quenbolyn

When not teaching dance or being harassed by her cat Doggy and her turtle Stakey, Quen likes to whip troublemakers in the Anti-Shurtugal Forums with her cane, while simultaneously talking about her various loves (which includes Gerard Butler covered in meringue). Quen is highly known in the LiveJournal Community as the person with the cool mom--her mother's rants concerning the Eragon series are very well-respected.

Roofpig

When not working on his hilarious webcomic, Bardsworth, Roofpig can be found in Anti-Shurtugal Forums keeping people in line or discussing the various effects of pie.

Silentpolaris

A moderator of the forums, Silent also handles the organization of various parts of the site, more importantly the hate mail and fan mail section. Silent is our information goddess--ask her anything and she'll have a website for you about it. She plays in a marching band, and while she doesn't have a lot of "This one time, in band camp," stories for you, she WILL hand you the Brokeback Mountain short story whether you like it or not. The good thing is, she'll include the bleach.

Warthorde

When not moderating the ASF forums, Warthorde enjoys learning how to beat people with sticks and listening to music that will probably send her to hell. She doesn't mind this prospect, for she is a writer and artist and so considers herself to be somewhat of an expert on eternal torment. She is sometimes labeled a misanthrope, but much prefers to be called an activist for equal-opportunity hatred.

Apollonia

Deep inside her seemingly harmless exterior lurks a monster more corrupt than Hackslayer herself. But in her spare time, she likes to hang out with friends, refuse the Brokeback Mountain short story from her literary-minded mother, and dread moving to France.

The Epistler
Who he is, nobody knows. He drops in and out like the wind. Some say he's a figment of Hackslayer's imagination, while others argue that The Epistler is too normal for her regular train of thought. We leave a bowl of milk and sugar cookies every night for him so he doesn't decide to turn our office upside-down.