Villains

by Darkstakey

One of the things that annoy me to no end in most fantasy is the lack of good villains, and Eragon is no exception. The bad guys are clichéd and never threatening or complex (although CP would like to think otherwise). They’re your typical bunch of sneering, snarling, ugly Bad Guys. I mean, let’s look at them:

 

GALBOTORIX: What does Galbie do? He sits in his castle being corrupt. Ooh, scary.

Oh, wait; he gets some Ugly Minions to spear a baby! He must be evil! And he’s bald and has a beard (according to the movie, at least)! And he wears black! BLACK!! Wow, he’s so very evil!

Wouldn’t it make sense for him to find Eragon and convince him to help the Empire? Murtagh said that Galbatorix convinced HIM to help the Empire, and that he (Galbie) was capable of selling ice to Eskimos (and that’s putting it mildly).

Presumably, with his Saruman like gifts of speech, Galbie is quite the public speaker. It would make sense for him to travel to villages and try and convince them that Varden were terrorists and that the Empire was just and true. If he’s a talented magician, he could put up some sort of defensive spell to protect himself from assassination attempts. He could bring people round to his point of view, and make himself look like he cared about them enough to come to their village at the same time. It could be incredibly useful.

And, if not that, couldn’t we at least shift to his viewpoint? I mean, we see things from Nasuada’s viewpoint which were completely pointless. Why not see Galbie deciding what to do next, telling Durza what to do etc etc?

 

DURZA: Sure, at least he turned up, but what did he do? He commanded a bunch of Ugly Minions and sneered. A lot. And then he goes from being Smirking Villain to Tragic Magician. At the last minute, we learned he didn’t any want any of this in a heartbreaking scene that shows just how complex Mr. Paoloni is.

It was sloppy, forced, and, above all, last minute character development. Oh, wait, he didn’t mean it! Look how complicated Inheritance is!

I have to ask: Who really gives a fuck?

THE RA’ZAC: They were black cloaks. They pronounce the letter s with a hiss. At first glance, they would appear to be derivative. But wait- they have BEAKS! Talk about original! And how scary it makes them! The idea of evil men having beaks connects directly to our fears!

MURTAGH: Not really a villain- since he was kinda forced to do Gabba’s bidding. Not that Eragon gets that, though. But really, Galbie must have messed him up pretty bad, because he turned from cool warrior to psychotic Rider in what- two months? And how

THORN: I can’t really say much about him (other than red is much cooler than blue), due to the fact that he hasn’t said a single word so far.

URGALS: They’re ugly. Of course they’re evil. Only beautiful people are good. And as a result they’re language is ugly. Ugly people say things ugly. They’re obviously unsophisticated hicks. Thus they are teh ebol. But wait- they can’t help it! Oh, why is life so complicated? I’m glad that there are books like Eldest to teach me that the world isn’t black and white. And it never feels forced. Never.

Is any one of those villains memorable? Are any original? Let’s look at some of the greatest villains in history and how much of the novel/movie they appear in:

Darth Vader- Star Wars (films): About half of A New Hope and Empire Strikes Back and around a third of Return of the Jedi.

Norman Bates- Psycho (film): Around a third of the film.

Gollum- Lord of the Rings (novels and films): Roughly a quarter of the book and the movie.

Count Dracula- Dracula (novel): Over three quarters of novel and subsequent film adaptations.

Wicked Witch of the West- The Wizard of Oz (film): Roughly three quarters of film.

 

Unless you’ve spent all your life under a rock, you should be able to recognise these names. Of course, a villain doesn’t have to have a lot of time in the novel to be memorable- just look at Sauron in [I]Lord of the Rings.[/I] But we felt their influence, which is more than I can say for Galbatorix.

And really- what are the chances of Galbie turning out to be anything other than bald, ugly, snarling, hissing and sneering?